Hits Well strawberries and cream are kind of an epic combo regardless of where and how it happens and this recipe is not different. When it set it more like a whipped strawberry shortcake cake pie than an actual cheesecake, but it was received very well at Mother’s Day so I consider it a success.

Misses So I made this late at night, I cut it very close in terms of setting time and it did not set in the traditional amount of time it said in the recipe it would take. As I think back, I would have cooled the crust more if I could but I did not have the time and also, I am pretty sure I over whipped the cream. I added the sugar after I whipped the cream cheese and heavy cream and I think I over whipped it. Honestly, since we’re being so transparent I had to work so I had to ask the Cold Spring Cheese Shop staff if they would refrigerate it for me while I was at work and I dedicate this cake to them! When I was picking it up they said “ You took a risk leaving it with us…you know, we love cheese”…I laughed and said “Risk I was willing to take!Thanks for saving this cake!”

Ingredients

Golden Cake Mix (and whatever it needs on the box)

2 cups of heavy cream

2 8 ox bars of cream cheese

2 pints of strawberries (or so)

cup of confectioner’s sugar

Bake your cake

I made my cake and then told it not to feel bad because there are more important things than being pretty.

Preheat the oven to whatever it says on the box. Prepare the cake mix, pour half of it into a lined greased springform pan (I used an 11 inch, but it calls for a 8 inch springform pan). Bake until it is done (keep checking it). This kind of situation is why they invented parchment paper. My cake was thinner than expected, but I made it work!

Strawberries? Please

I over bought strawberries, but this just meant I had more to add. Cut your strawberries in halves so they are uniform, because they’ll be part of the decorations. If they’re not super sweet gentle sprinkle sugar over them.

Lining the pan or working on making it pretty

Take your strawberries and line the inside of your springform pan so they uniformly will set and either face all of them in or all of them out, so you know, it looks good.

Be creative

If you have extra strawberries lay them on a layer on top of the cake before you put in the cream cheese mixture. Let the cake completely cool.

Cream Cheese,
Heavy Cream &
Sugar walked into a bar

Add the whipped cream into your standup mixer, whip. Then, add the heavy cream, a cup at a time and then add the sugar. Whip until peaks form - The recipe called for adding the sugar and then the heavy cream, which I will do next time because I feel like I over whipped the cream. C’est la vie.

You Whipped it. Whipped it real good.

Now it’s time to build your cake. Make sure the crust is cooled and spoon the filling on top of the cake, being careful to preserve the ring of strawberries around the side. Use a spatula to smooth over the top and then arrange the strawberries in a beautiful pattern. Put the cake in the fridge for 5-7 hours. *Please note: My cake had a hard time setting but I attribute this to not completely cooled cake crust and my fridge and bad luck. I checked at hour 6 and it was not set yet!

Mother’s Day is often painful for me. I think every Mother’s Day, “Next year I will have the life I want, the life I was promised” and then next year comes and my position is the same or worse. This year I took control of my Mamma’s Day (As I think of it) and focused on the Mammas in my life I wanted to celebrate or comfort. I made some gifts for people who had become Mamma’s or for whom being a Mamma has been hard this year. I made sm donations for my friends and fam who I felt needed some remembrance to charities which they would believe in either because of who their children are, how they became mammas, what their heart is or who they love. I collected thoughtful presents I could afford for my mamma. I prayed. I sent messages. I wrote cards, and I made this cake.

It was important this year to make a cake which incorporated some Mamma shortcut for busy Mammas want to make something but don’t have hours to slave over an elaborate dessert. I realize sometimes I have hurt peoples feelings very unintentionally by cooking elaborate recipes they don’t have time for, going the extra mile when it seemed like I was showing off or disparaging shortcuts in the kitchen like sauces or box recipes. I wanted this cake to be a reflection of the fact I understand there is so much worth in making what you have time to make, especially if you make it with love. The reality is there is so much beauty in having your biggest accomplishment of the day be you got your child to eat their box macaroni and cheese and their apple slice. Sometimes my greatest accomplishment of my day is eating box macaroni cheese and all my apple slices. I made this cake for mammas who read this blog and are constantly given the message no matter what they’re doing something wrong; chances are if you’re worried if you’re not being a good mamma because Pinterest tells you there’s a way to be a perfect mamma, you’re probably trying your best. We do the best we can for the children we love, and if they know every box cake and apple slice came from a place of love, you’ve done something special.

My candid reflection: Motherhood is something I always wanted and then my life turned upside down. It is still something I want in a way which feels like sometimes my need is gnawing at my heart. I realize my sadnesses over many things sometimes seem to make it feel like I am not as present as I always was for people who love me and sadly, for the children I interact with who I love. Nothing is more gratifying than watching people you love as Mammas, especially if being a Mamma was something they had to fight for or were scared might not ever happen. There is something so beautiful at seeing your specials at their most selfless and sometimes even at their most stressed, because over and over again they seem to rise to the occasion. They are surprisingly insightful, uncharacteristically humble and even devastatingly compassionate about their kiddos travels through the world. I think what people have a hard time talking to me about is that nobody ever thought, when everything went to the place spelled with double hockey sticks,, that I would be just watching them with their children. Nobody thought this would look like this, and it is hard to look me in my eyes when it is so obvious somebody got something very wrong.

It’s ok. Well, It is going to be ok. My intention of making this cake was to celebrate Mammas because I know I have said things in this blog which insinuate I think people have many free moments and everybody enjoys things like setting a table or decorating cookies. Thanks for reading - my intention was not to make you feel like you have to cook, look or be like me. I know I have said things to people I love which feel like an accusation they don’t care or they’re not sad for how everything seemed to happen. I wanted them to know I want to celebrated them this Mamma’s Day especially my siblings and my sisterfriends. I had somebody well, many people know and in her journey to become a Mamma she became meaner (she was already mean, but she became meaner), resentful, and willing to say very hurtful things. She made people with children feel like they should apologize for their lives and she even talked derisively about children she had not ever met. Her pain became destructive and it hurt many people. Having known her, I had no desire to become something like her, so I just decided my pain was private and then I realized many people started believing I had rearranged my expectations about how happy I was going to be allowed to be in this life. I haven’t. I just don’t want people I love who are happy to think I begrudge them their happiness. Honestly I don’t. I know I have said things which I had to say which have hurt people regarding a bunch of stuff. I had to say it. for my sanity. While all the people I love were not going to be at the table on Mamma’s day, some were and I wanted them to know I made an effort because even though it is sad to watch other people’s joy, I want them to have joy. Me saying I want to be joyful, is not me saying I want you to be sad or guilty or hide your special mamma moments because hearing them will hurt too much.

In reflection, I think without intention my elaborate desserts or my involved recipes have made people feel like I was trying to shine a light on what they were doing in their kitchens. Without ever thinking my trying so hard to be involved and to participate with special gestures and unique appetizers or hand painted cards, came off as trying to make their contributions seem small. I was just thinking “I have time- if you were wondering how hard it is to make bagels I tried for you and me. It’s hard, by the way.”Not once have I ever actually thought if you’re an exhausted mamma and you don’t make it to your workout or if you’re balancing a bunch of things and you decide to buy cupcakes for your child’s bake sale that this makes you not a special mamma or a special person. Since I have been busy trying to make sense of the loss of my time I fill my days with planning special things the way I used to. Maybe I disparaged “from a box cooking” as a joke, but the reality is I enjoy cooking and if it’s not your thing or you don’t have time, or you don’t think it’s important it is not a value based thing. Yes, I think we should strive to always be healthy in how we eat, but I think we should strive more to be whole and to embrace ourselves, whether we’re covered in flour or sunless tanner, tattoos or bug spray. If every once in while you do something not the way you wished you did it, then you’re in good company with me. If my efforts to make peace with my pain have made people I love feel like I am trying to show off or hurt them or make them feel like am trying to make their efforts seem small, I’m sorry. If you have felt like this around me, I am so sorry. Honestly, I was just trying to contribute, and make things special. I was just trying to do things I would be doing, if I had vast amounts of free time, if I had the life I had always dreamed about. I was just trying to make things better. If how I have written in this blog has made people feel bad about using margarine or not wanting to bake from scratch or has made you feel sanctimonious or stressed, I’m sorry. I was trying to say thanks. I was trying prove I am still myself. I was proving to myself I am still myself. I was trying release myself. I was trying to just do something more over doing what people said I would be able to do.

I am sorry if this how some of the Mammas I love felt, so I baked you a cake. And talked about how I messed it up.

Happy late mamma’s day!

Miss D

Miss D

Miss D Cooks

Miss D

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Strawberry Cheesecake…with store bought cake mix